Poop & Puke

Our daycare center is set up so that as you walk into the building, you can see the infant classroom right over a half wall. I walked in on Monday and was hit with that tell-tale odor. Someone dropped a poop bomb. Naturally, I assumed it was my Ladybug. Turns out, it was not just her, but another little one too. It would seem they decided to through a poop party by pooping at the same time!

I took that moment to engage in the following conversation with Ladybug's teacher:
Me: Is it just me or do Ladybug's poops stink more than the average baby's?
Teacher: It's not just you. Ladybug stinks really, really bad.
Me: Well, I should have known how bad it was going to be when her breast milk poop had a bad smell. Breast milk poop doesn't stink.
Teacher: Nope, but hers did. Now that she's on formula it's really, really stinky.
Me: She gets it from her Papa.

My little Ladybug can clear a room with just a little breaking of wind. Imagine how bad it is when she drops a poop bomb. Sometimes they make me gag. It's worse than any poop smell Little Man could ever have thought of making.

Last Monday night the hubs had a town meeting to attend in VT. He wouldn't be home for dinner or bedtime. I invited myself was invited to dinner at the in-laws' house. Little Man wasn't really interested in eating, but I did the whole "if you don't eat, you can't watch television tonight" bit (yes I use TV as a bribe to get him to eat - don't judge me). What it comes down to is that I pretty much forced the kid to eat.

We got home at about 6:45 and got ready for bed right away. I was even ahead of schedule because I knew Ladybug wouldn't hold out until after Little Man's normal bedtime. He had milk, 3 stories and was in bed at 7:15, which is about 15 minutes ahead of schedule.

Ladybug and I went to her room for her nightly lotion rub down and jammies, then I waited for the bottle to warm up (total pain in the ass to wait for a bottle to heat when you are holding a screaming infant). As soon as the bottle was warm, I heard Little Man call me in the monitor. I knew there was no sense in ignoring him because he would continue to call me for the duration of Lady Bug's feeding, so I made the decision to check on him.

I walked into his room and heard, "Mommy, I threwed up." I looked at his bed to see that he did, indeed, puke. There was puke all over his bed. The timing couldn't have been worse. I escorted him to the bathroom while holding a crying infant. I set Ladybug in her bouncy seat (that we keep conveniently located in the bathroom) and began the process of cleaning up. Ladybug was protesting rather loudly, but I couldn't leave him soaked in puke. I took his clothes off and popped him in the shower. We finished that up and got new jammies on him. This whole time he is being rather solemn and apologizing to me. Poor little thing. I felt so bad for him and he just kept right on saying, "I'm sorry I threw up, Mommy."

I followed the shower with a stripping of the bed, during which Ladybug's protests were growing louder and more frantic. I put him back to bed and set a bucket (which held blocks only a few seconds before) next to his bed. I instructed Little Man to throw up in the bucket if he felt like he needed to do it again. He said, "But Mommy that bucket is for blocks not throw up." I had to assure him that I would clean the bucket if he had to use it for throw up before he would agree to use the bucket for such a purpose.

He got into bed and went right to sleep. I didn't hear from him again all night. I got a very pissed Ladybug settled, and all was well with the world again. Okay, well that's an exaggeration. I was still reeling from the stress of it for days after! In our house, I don’t deal with puke. That’s job usually belongs to hubs. I’m still not sure how I got through it, but I suppose that’s what makes me a mom. I got through it because I didn’t have a choice.